第二封信：玛德琳老师健康讯息2024年1月12日
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第二封信
玛德琳老师健康讯息2024年1月12日
2024年1月12日
亲爱的朋友、亲人和同事们，
恐怕不是个好消息。
自12月4日在中国重庆首次诊断出结肠癌和肝癌以来已经6周了。自那以后，我已经有5个肾结石被爆破，并成功进行了结肠手术。
为了恢复，我经常在沙发上打瞌睡和睡觉。有很多挑战性的时刻。当你害怕上厕所时，这一点儿不有趣。但在过去的两周里，每天有一次一杯Smooth Move的茶，进展得很顺利！
用于止痛的氢吗啡酮(Hydromorphone)和T3s以及用于睡眠的佐泊克隆（Zopoclone)使白天和黑夜都变得平静和安宁。疼痛有所减轻，这是一种幸福的解脱。
我简单的饮食包括了英式炒蛋、Kaffir和菜泥汤。
但体重急剧下降，全身虚弱，缺乏活力，并有一种深深的疲劳感。这绝对不是你或我所知道和喜爱的玛德琳。
我一直保留在头脑里的画面，是我6周前在重庆教课的情景，在一个30 * 40米的房间里，有35名学生，12个沙盘，500个雕像物件，3台摄像机，2个庞大的屏幕，讲授最新右脑对右脑的心理疗法。用吉姆的话说，这场景真是叹为观止！
现在是1月11日，露西，我最小的女儿(30岁)，吉姆和我第一次在Al-Qurashi医生那里进行肿瘤治疗。她有所有来自中国和兰利医院的血液检查、心电图、CT扫描、手术和活检的结果。我们期待着开始下一阶段的治疗，用化疗来治疗身体。我们充满希望！
而且，实际上，我们对这一刻有广阔无际的期望。
医生一开始就准确地来讲我肝脏里的癌症究竟是什么。它被称为“小细胞型”，分化不良的神经内分泌癌症。它的增殖率为75%。在我们的语言中，这意味着快速反应和侵略性。
在回家的路上，我们讨论了这次治疗，我们记得她重复了很多次的“不幸的是”。
不幸的是，这种癌症的化疗预期并不好。不到5%的病人存活下来，这5%的人一开始身体都很强壮，很活跃。在1到4的活动量表上，1和2表示化疗预后良好。我18个小时都在床上或沙发上打瞌睡和睡觉，这是我唯一能做的，我被放入量表的3到4的范围内。我虚弱的身体无法承受。
而且，不幸的是，最近的血液检查显示癌症对肝脏造成了重大损害。所以不可能进行全剂量的化疗。即使身体有积极的反应，结果也不会持续，癌症会立即复发，因为它生长得如此快，具有侵略性。
我们要求对所有这些对我们来说是全新的和可怕的信息进行多次重复的讲述。我们想确保我们获取所有的信息，并能正确地告诉其他像你一样想知道的人。我们想知道我们已经尽力寻找所有可能的办法，希望象2000年因乳腺癌成功生存而获得另一个版本的生存故事。
但最终我们向Qurashi博士提出了一个重要的问题：我还能活多久？
不幸的是，我只有2周到2个月...
我正在转向姑息治疗，研究和组织医学死亡援助。至少我还能掌控剩余的日子，而且会有一个小小的、感伤的道别仪式。
实际上是两个仪式，因为吉姆和我将在1月13日星期日结婚！
我现在在客厅里放了一张小单人床，这样我就能看到壁炉，周围是沙发和扶手椅。
爱你们所有人，
请继续尽可能多地发送爱和疗愈能量给我。我已经无法治愈了。尽管我并不总是能够回复但我真的很喜欢收到你们的来信。请将你的信息发到吉姆的邮箱jimedmondson@telus.net。
请将这条信息转发给世界上任何可能喜欢这条消息的人。
玛德琳
Jan 12, 2024
My Dear Friends, Relatives, and Colleagues,
Not good news I’m afraid.
It’s been 6 weeks since the first colon cancer and liver cancer diagnosis in Chongqing, China on Dec 4th. Since then I’ve had 5 kidney stones blasted and a successful colon surgery.
Lots of dozing and sleeping on the couch to recover from that. There have been a many challenging moments. When you dread going to the bathroom, it’s no fun. But, for the last two weeks, a once day cup of Smooth Move tea has kept things moving along nicely!
The Hydromorphone and T3s for pain and Zopoclone for sleep have created some calm and peace both day and night. And there’s been some decrease in pain which is a blessed relief.
I’ve had a simple diet of English scrambled eggs, Kaffir, and completely pureed soups.
But there’s been a quite dramatic loss of weight, general feelings of weakness, lack of mobility and a deep sense of fatigue. Definitely not the Madeleine you or I know and love.
I hold on to images of me teaching just 6 weeks ago in Chongqing, in a 30 x 40 metres room with 35 students, 12 sand trays, 500 figurines, 3 cameras, 2 huge screens, teaching cutting edge right brain to right brain psychotherapy and, says Jim, knocking their little socks off!
And here we are on, Jan 11, Lucy, my youngest daughter (30), Jim and I at my first oncology session with Dr. Al-Qurashi. She has all the results of all the blood tests, ECGs, CT scans, surgeries and biopsies from China and Langley. We’re looking to start the next phase of treatment, poisoning the body with chemotherapy. We are hopeful!
And, realistically, we have a wide range of expectations for this moment.
The doctor starts with what exactly it is, this cancer that I have in my liver. It’s called a ‘small cell type’, poorly differentiated neuroendocrine cancer. It has a proliferation rate of 75%. In our language, that means fast acting and aggressive.
On the way home, discussing the session, we remember her saying, after this point, the word ‘unfortunately’ many times.
Unfortunately the prognosis for chemotherapy with this kind of cancer is not good. Less than 5% of the patients survive and those 5% all start with strong, active bodies. On an activity scale of 1-4, where 1 and 2 indicate a good prognosis for chemotherapy. My 18 hours dozing and sleeping in bed or on the couch, which is all I can do, put me in the 3 to 4 range. My weakened body couldn’t take it.
And, unfortunately, the most recent blood tests show significant damage to the liver caused by the cancer. So a full dose of chemo wouldn’t be possible. And even if there was a positive response, the results wouldn’t last and the cancer would come back immediately because of being so fast growing and aggressive.
We ask for several repeats of all this information which is new and scary for us. We want to be sure we’ve got it all right and can say it right to others like you, who want to know. We want to know we’ve done our best to ferret out all the possibilities for another successful survival story to my breast cancer in 2000.
But eventually we get to the big question for Dr Qurashi: How long have I got?
Unfortunately, only between 2 weeks to 2 months.
…
I am moving into palliative care and researching and organizing MAiD, Medical Assistance in Dying. At least I’ll have control over the rest of my life and there’ll be a small, poignant, farewell party.
Actually 2 parties, because Jim and I are getting married on Sunday, Jan 13!
I now have a small single bed set up in the living room so I can see the fireplace, surrounded by coaches and arm chairs.
So much love to you all,
Please continue sending as much loving, healing energy as you can. I’m beyond repair but I really enjoy hearing from you even though I won’t always be able to reply. Send your messages to Jim at jimedmondson@telus.net.
And please pass this message on to anyone in the world who might appreciate the news.
Madeleine
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