当咨询师的潜在议题阻碍了咨询工作时怎么办？

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当咨询师的潜在议题阻碍了与来访者工作时，您作为萨提亚的督导。你关注什么？咨询师的个人议题和咨询师督导提出的难题之间有什么关系吗？督导将会如何处理这个问题呢？

琳达老师（Linda）： 

Every case is a little bit different, but I would say what I find is that usually the counselor has some personal part or some personal past experience that tends to be very similar to their clients. There are sort of that finding out. I would always say what's getting in the way of them being able to be more open and accepting of their client.

每个案例都有点不同，但我想说的是，我发现通常咨询师有一些个人部分或一些个人过去的经历往往与他们的来访者非常相似。有一些这样的发现。我总是会说是什么阻碍了他们更加开放和接纳来访者？

人在成长过程中，有一种内在的本能去冲淡和平衡痛苦和创伤事件所带来的冲击，但在出现类似情境或感受时，早年创伤性的负性认知、情绪、躯体感受等就被再次激活，导致心理问题和行为的发生。如一个小时候有分离焦虑的小朋友，虽然成长过程中未见明显异常，但在上大学时这种分离焦虑被重新激活，出现了适应障碍。

琳达老师（Linda）： 

An example might be, I worked with somebody yesterday that their client came in mostly angry and expressed a lot of anger and some rage. I was able to ask  the counselor what their experience and relationship with anger was. They told me a little bit about their own relationship with anger. They grew up in a family that was very angry. There was a whole lot of yelling. I got the sense that it's like. So what was that like for you when you were growing up? And she said she felt very helpless. I said in that how are you experiencing this client? She goes very helpless so that I would almost say that younger part of her sort of gets activated when she's working with her client that she tends to feel helpless. She doesn't know what to do. So then doing a piece of work with her around her adult part and having her do a little bit of work with that young part that feels helpless, because she didn't know that helpless part was coming up. She didn't understand that she didn't know that. But once she had that expanded awareness of like that was me as a little kid that I would feel helpless and I'm not a little kid now.

举一个例子，昨天我与一个咨询师工作，她的来访者进来时总是很生气，并表达了很多生气和愤怒。

我询问咨询师自已的经历以及她与愤怒的关系是什么。她告诉我一些自己与愤怒的关系。她在一个非常愤怒的家庭中长大。家人大喊大叫。我感觉好像是这样的， 

我问：“在你成长的过程中，情况又是怎样的呢？”

她说：“我感到非常无助。”在那儿，

我说：“你对这个来访者的体验怎么样？”

她说：“我变得非常无助。”

所以我几乎可以说，当她与来访者一起工作时，她内在那个童年的部分被激活，她往往感到无助。她不知道该怎么办。然后，围绕她成年人的部分与她一起工作，并让她对感到无助的童年部分做一些工作，因为她不知道无助的部分会出现。她不知道她不知道的部分。但一旦她有了这样的认识，就像她小时候一样，就会感到无助， 而她现在不再是一个小孩子。

琳达老师（Linda）： 

So she was able to really get in touch with her resources as an adult and have a lot of compassion for that young girl that felt so helpless and scared when she was little. There was no knowing that was what was happening for her. Then when we went back and looked at her client, when the client came in with her anger and so quickly to anger,she was really able to identify the resources the anger had。

因此，作为一个成年人，她能够真正接触到自己的资源，并对那个小时候感到无助和害怕的小女孩充满慈悲心。没有人知道这就是她身上发生的事情。然后，当我们回看她的来访者时， 当来访者带着怒气进来并且很快愤怒时，她真的能够识别出愤怒后面的资源。

She was also able to identify like what and how to work with the anger on a different level instead of her getting triggered. So it's a real balancing of personal, usually always comes up. When somebody is working with a particular person, it just like the clients mirror, blind spots within the counselor. Then depending on how open counselors are, how willing and able they are to be vulnerable, really, I can help them activate their courage by be me being in my own self energy, that there is a level of safety and trust that allows them to sort of explore a little bit about their own stuff that's getting in the way of working more effectively with the client. I may suggest that they go and see somebody yesterday or somebody yesterday said, I’m going to take this to my therapist. So a lot of counselors have their own therapists, and they as their own personal issues come up, they will go work with it after a session that they've had a supervision session.

她还能够确定如何在不同的层面上处理愤怒，而不是被触发。所以这是一个真正的个人平衡， 通常总是会出现。当某人与某个特定的人一起工作时，就像来访者的镜子一样，咨询师也存在盲点。然后，取决于咨询师的开放程度，他们是否愿意和能够表现出脆弱，实际上，我可以通过让他们接触联结自己的能量来帮助他们激发勇气，有一定程度的安全和信任，使他们能够探索一下他们自己的议题，这些议题会妨碍与来访者更有效地工作。我可能会建议他们去见自己的咨询师，或者昨天他会说，我要把这个议题带着去见我的治疗师。因此，很多咨询师都有自己的治疗师，当他们出现自己的个人议题时，他们会在进行了督导后继续进行个人治疗。